The Teaching of 1D
by zerofan1256
Summary: What happens when you try to teach your sister about One Direction? And if you try to teach her their names? Well here, it shows you what happens when you try to teach me! This has humor, cussing and CRACK! (Crack Humor :D) Please R&R and by the way I'm not really a One Directioner so no flames please. Actually, I don't care, cause I'll just chase you with meh chainsaw! XD


The Teaching of One Direction

By: Zero fan1256

**Hello~ I just want to say I'm not really a fan of One Direction, but I wanted to tell you about what happened when my sister, tried to teach me how to memorize their names. This will contain, cussing, humor and especially, CRACK! :D (Crack= Humor :D). I'm more of an anime fan then pop and shiz, and I know all of you others probably think it's nerdy, and stupid, but others might like anime, so please enjoy, and make sure to R&R! **

"I won't get out until you remember their names!" Declared my sister.

It was around nine o'clock and my sister wanted me to remember the names of One direction. I didn't really think much of the group, but I had to say Zayn was pretty cute.

Anyways she was supposed to be taking a shower, but NOOO! It all started when she wanted a hug and I ran like hell, but she caught up. _"Fuck!' _I thought.

"…." I sat there in silence when she asked me to name one.

"N-nai." She began, as if I was a fucking 5 year old! "Nail?" I asked. "Good!" She praised. I mean seriously, I can speak! But there was before when I had a random talk with my mom about fortune cookies and confusion, I couldn't even speak fucking English!

I sat there as she made an idiot of herself. "L-Lia-. Come on, say it with me now, or I won't leave." She told me.

I sighed. "L-lia-" She continued. "Liam." I answered. "Pa-pa-Payne!" Oh god when will this be over?! "Hehe whoever dates him it'll be a _payne_." (No offense to you one direction fans!) "Z-zay-." OH OH I KNOW! "Zayne!" I answered. "Good, you got one actually right." I clapped my hands and acted like a total airhead just to piss her off.

"Now what's his last name?" She asked. "I don't know how to say it, but it's spelled, M-A-L-I-K…" "Malik." She told me. "Now here's another, "L-lou-" "Lewie?" I asked. She sighed and smiled in frustration, "No, Louis." She answered. "OHH!" I tipped over and fell on my side. She went to the next one, "T-tom-." "THOMAS!" I yelled. "No Tomlinson." She sighed. "SOOO! Are we done?" I asked. "No, you have to recite all the names to me now." She told me. "FAAWWWCCKKK!I I FORGOT! Hehe." I rubbed my neck nervously as I chuckled. We started the whole process all over again until I met Nial's last name. "H-Ho-." She began. "WHORE!" I yelled and she began to laugh and so did I. "No! Your going to get in trouble!" She scolded. I laughed so hard I fell off the bed and she just face-palmed then shook her head, "Ow my shoulder, hahaha!" I laughed. She then slid against my closet door and said, "Okay we're going to keep doing this until you get them all right!" She stuck her thumb out.

"But I though we we're done!" I whined.

"No, not until you got them all right!"

She continued to stick her thumb out and said, "You have to say a name."

"Jeffery!" I answered I broke into fits of laughter.

"No a One Direction name!"

"The other direction!" I answered. She groaned and face-palmed again. I giggled and laughed. She looked at her Iphone and I knew if I didn't hurry and get them right, I couldn't eat my Sesame Chicken!

"Okay um, Harry Styles." She nodded. "Zayn Mal- Damn it, I always get stuck on his last name!" I groaned.

"Um Male- Noo! Malick?" I asked.

"No Malik."

"That's what I said! Malick!" I argued

"No! Malik!" She said!

"Malik, okay then! Next one is.. Hmm.. Liam… Payne?" I asked.

"Yes" She answered.

"Okay! Umm.. Lewie?"

"No! Louis!"

"Oh! That's what I meant to say and his last name is Tomlinson? Am I right?"

"Yes."

"YAAAY! Is that all?"

"Yes.. I think.."

I stare at her and chuckle a little bit.

"Soo.. GET OUT." I pointed at the door.

"So we're done, right?" I asked as I leaned against the door frame.

"Nope! Once I'm done showering I'll test you again."

She walked in the bathroom and I stood there then fell to the ground on my knees. "NOOOOOOOO!" I dramatically cried. "Be quiet!" My mother yelled. I then saw my little sister who walked over to me and said, "Mom said she heard someone yell." She told me.

'_Shit! She must of heard me yell whore!' I thought._

"Umm, did she here it clearly?" I asked.

"No but dad probably did since his room is behind yours."

I paused, I then blinked a couple times before standing up and walking back into my room, shutting the door.

**So? How was it? :D Review and forever hold your peace, or be cursed forever~! Anyways hope you enjoyed, and good luck trying to tackle Harry! I know you want to~ I mean right now your probably thinking, 'who wouldn't?!' Yep, your probably all Therapists! And I think I got high on air when I was learning the names. 0.o Is that even possible? Anyways please fav or review, I don't know and I don't care just do something! Want more? (Probably not) Ask for more adventures with me and One Direction, or other crap that I happen to fall upon in my crazy life. But anyways, Baibai~**


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